waste of time

i dont like christmas, i dont like the noise my mother makes when she sneezes, i dont like when my extended family grills me about college, i dont like the condescending look i get from my aunt when i say i havent been painting that much, i dont like the feeling i get when she brags about her 6th grader taking the SAT's and being enrolled in a program with duke, i dont like how runny my nose is, i dont like when my phone breaks, i dont like baseball, i dont like when one of my best friends in the entire fucking world thinks its okay not to call me when he's home, i dont like when i dream about heroin, i dont like worrying, i dont like anticipating college rejection letters, i dont like getting turned down for a job for the dumbest fucking reason, i dont like not being able to listen to my music, i dont like not eating healthy, i dont like crying when i see myself in the mirror, i dont like having anything to wear, i dont like fairweather friends, i dont like not having money, i dont like spending money, i dont like not having anything to look forward to when i wake up, i dont like having to please people, i dont like scratchy things i download off of the computer, i dont like people that are only there when they need me, i dont like watching people run themselves into the ground, i dont like discretionary calories

i do like reality television and dreaming, also teas and brand new's "untitled" demos

one word for how i feel: displeased

its my own goddamn fault, i'm too lazy to change my life, so i'll just suffer