ava adore

So... yeah. Weird/awesome times lately. Yesterday I)

-renewed my permit

-drove

-made good with the mom



then the bean and i decided not to go to the morning light/composure show (undisclosed reasons) and we got deirdre and went to eat boca. then we got in a car accident. and decided gary stevens would be the only person who could save us. the bitch who caused the accident made a scene and the only thing that could soothe our soul would be seeing nic. so we went to walgreens and deirdre bought an entire carton of smokebitches. one carton= 200 cigarettes. then we went back to the berry's, watched a semi-pornographic movie called "eastern promises" with her little sister, big brother, and father. it was awkward. we only got like 30 mins into the story when we had to shut it off. they went upstairs, we raided the liquor cabinet and started drinking some bottled ikea/pier one tasting gin and then the ketel one happened and we listening to brand new surround sound as i watched marilyn manson on television.

around 11:15 nic swings by for a visit and its beautiful. we transform koko into a bar. we hang out in the white girl listening to the killers until twelve exactly. we retire to the basement, pound cold onez, go up to the stinky lena room and laugh and cry until we wake up. oh, and i send myspace messages to basically everyone i know and they are all so pathetic its ridiculous.

then we put a bunch of make-up on and have breakfast with nic at the enp, which is nice and good until mr. berry stops by and shits on our day. then it sucked. but it was okay. sean connery is now in the shop for three weeks, and its going to cost baby berry a thousand dollars to fix. sad.

after breakfast i showered and now i'm making mass mix CD's and thinking long and hard about my plan of action. lots of little variables, there can only be one outcome. we'll see.

i also wrote this last night, in between rounds of GHIII



INSPIRED BY DEIRDRE E.M.M.O.M.

Where did you bring in the New Year?: YOUNG BEEZ

Who were you with?: MANY BOYS AND A FAT GIRL

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: ON THE CHEEK!?!?!

Did you make any resolutions?: CAPTURED IN A FLOW CHARTTTT



2007 Your Love Life...

Did you break up with anyone?: THAT WOULD REQUIRE HAVING A REAL BOYFRIEND, NOT "DATING WITHOUT THE TITLE" thanks, boys

Did you get anything for Valentine's day?: A TEEN PREGNANCY

Did you meet anyone special? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you fall in love?: PROBABLY BUT WAS TOO DRUNK TO REALIZE IT



2007 Friends and Enemies...

Did you meet any new friends this year?: YEAH, LOVE 'EM

Did any of your friendships end?: CUT OUT THE BADD ONEZ

Did you dislike anyone?: HA HA HA

Did you make any new enemies?: HA HA HA

Did you resolve any fights?: NOPE.

Who was your closest friend?: LENADEIRDREJEN

Who did you grow apart from?: A BIG WASTE OF FUCKING TIME

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: REGRET FINDING THE ONE PERSON WHO WONT PAY MY GODDAMN LIBRARY FEES AFTER INCURRING THEM

2007 Your Birthday...

How old did you turn?: 17

Did you have a cake? PROBABLY BUT WAS TOO DRUNK TO REALIZE IT

What did you do for your birthday? I GAVE BLOOD!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you have a party?: NO BECAUSE I ABANDONED MY REAL FRIENDS

Did you get any presents?: MONEY TO SPEND IN THE BIG APPLE

If so what was the best thing you got?: A CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE



2007 All About You...

Did you change at all this year?: YEAH, SO?

Did you dye your hair?: PURPLE, AND THEN THE ALMIGHTY SCENE PATCHES

Did you get your hair cut?: I LOOK GREAT!

Did you change your style?: WENT FROM PUNK TO HARDCORE DUHHH

Were you in school?: TRIED

Did you get good grades? NO, SAD

Did you drive? : GOD FORBID

Did anyone close to you give birth?: DEE DEE

Did you move at all?: NO

Did you go on any vacations?: AMERICAN ONES

Would you change anything about yourself now?: NATURALLY



2007 Wrap Up...
Is 2007 a good year?: ITS WHAT I MADE OF IT
Did 2007 bring any new insights? YEAH BECAUSE I'M OUT OF MY FUCKING SKULL

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?: SENIORS OH ATEEEEE

Do you have any goals for 2008?: LEARNING TO NOT BE SUCH A JOKE TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY

If you could relive any moment which would you choose? EVERY SINGLE BOCA BURGER I'VE EATEN FROM DENNY'S mmmmmmmmmmmmm


PEACE.

it's only fitting

do you know what tOtALLy sUcKzZz? when you say something mean to someone and they are too stupid to realize its about them and agree with you. like, "yeah, fuck that! LOL"... that sucks, and makes your efforts null and void, and you feel bad for them.

last night was fun, i at first wasn't allowed out and then i was, because my father loves me. he is the only one. he and i went to the mall, i turned in job applications, which was good i guess. i can't decide if stores are going to judge me because i went to the mall with my father. anyway, i put in a few apps and hopefully i can get hired so my mom will stop freaking the hell out. after i turned them in, i visited my bests and sat in their stores while they carried on conversations with my father and tried to sell him products. then we went down and sat in benches beneath the escalators and talked about my legit demented grandma. i never really get the time to talk about serious stuff with him so it was good.

then lena, in her new white converse, shimmied down the escalator and we ran out to sean connery the cavalier because we were being followed by a carful of scary white guys who were making gestures with their tongues at us.

when we were safely locked inside the walls of SC, we jammed to free bird and the immigrant song, and i was suddenly transformed into a handle-bar mustached, brown frizzy-haired, flannel shirt/corduroy vest-wearing, pabst blue ribbon-drinking midwesterner from the seventies. then i felt like my father did in his teenage years. best friends and rock. GUITAR SOLO.

when we got to lena's, nic and russ came over and we played guitar hero and took pictures and loved each other. after that got old, we went and sat at denny's in cranberry and no one had any cigarettes left and it was beautiful friendship time where we talked about shitting ourselves. on the ride home i had shotgun and control of the stereo, we screamed brand new at the top of our lungs down the highway at one in the morning. it was alot of fun hanging out with rus and nic, they could be my new favorites. i have alot of favorites though so i don't know.

i don't know why i've all the sudden started seeing everyone alot more... its people i've known for awhile but never really hung out with, and it's good to not just be sitting in lena's basement or going to a crusty house for once. not that i'm opposed to either... at all. there is nothing like swigging wine out of a stolen christmas present and waking up with your head in the crevices of a couch.

okay, enough, goodbye.

The human experiment has now failed

i'm in such a thinking/talking/writing mode but i've got no desire to share with anyone in particular and also the pair of ears i chose to share these precious gems of knowledge with would explode. so i'll share them with no one/everyone (the internet).

i don't actually know where i'm going with this, anyway. i have nothing really to say. all i have is like this sour burning feeling in my chest and alot of built up anger and confusion and a little bit of love and happiness mixed in too. my life is so retarded. and i mean that. like, in the politically correct way, haha. it's legitimately retarded. slow. last night was fun i guess, jen and chris are very cute together. we went to target and olive garden, quite possibly one of my least favorite restaurants in the restaurant chain industry. the only good part about olive garden is the bread dogs.

then we went to lena's and i failed at guitar hero in public. its cool. we watched halloween and i am not a fan. i got wine-lipped and was a baby. we watched tila tequila and i fell retarded in love with bobby.

my sleeping was weird and my waking was weird but we got lena back for leaving us at such an inopportune time...

then we went to enp and giggled and i went home and got shat on by my family for being

1. satanic
2. sacreligious
3. drug-addled
4. lazy
5. unfeeling
6. drunk
7. stupid
8. disrespectful
9. fat
10. ego maniac

i hate eveything. end of story.

i

i want to write it all down but i'm seriously not even coherent anymore and plus i'm getting really confused by things that occured so yeah, see you soon

The chemist said it would be alright, but I've never been the same.

Past few days have been so bad and so good. I went Max Bemis for awhile and literally locked myself in my room and screamed, but in the end I did get almost three college applications in, and none of them were actually my Pitt application. I'll get really stressed if I talk about it so I wont. But school is out, yesterday was a joke. Lena, Deirdre and I left 5/6, sat at Lena's, and then went to Wendy's and had lunch with Mr. Berry. Best advice, "You need to date a man like John Wayne." He also calls boys "Hoodies". Then, we sat in the Montecello's parking lot and listened to The Sounds Of Animals Fighting and Shoes. And then, for some inexplicable reason, we went back to school for period eleven art class. Precious. We mostly sat and had staring contests and laughed and talked about Tim Crammond, Gap model 07. Then the bitches headed to the MaLL and tried on 290743 dresses for the sweater party, even though i think we will be the only ones in dresses. Its cool. The one dress I was in love with was too small, and they didn't have any in my size, but then i found this glorious teal dress that looks so good on me, or at least it did yesterday. Its the type of dress I figured I could have never gotten away with (low cut, thin fabic), but it seriously fit me perfectly. 3Q sleeves, hits right below the knees, pretty low, embroidered chest piece. Love it. And for like, twentysomething bucks.

Anyway, we went to visit Jenny at tha Saqq of Luvv and she said she was getting of early so we could go to the show! So i ran home and cleaned up, and after picking up young Deed we made our way through the treasured city of etna, where our adventure began. We had to go back roads because of the accident on McKnight, and we had no clue where we were. Luckily, through 1289743 phone calls to 24934 different people, we were connected to King Jeremy who lead us to safety. Well, we did get lost, several times, and ended up in Verona, but we made it. We were there a half an hour after told Mc Aj we'd be there, but all was well. Unit played first, it was McEric's birthday so the set was particularly br00tL, and the crowd was pleased. Some band from Auburn, NY played next and they were merely okay, but they were possibly the most amusing band with the lead singer who limped/moshed/rocked with one foot because the other was broken, and also they had a really sexy drummer. Next came Unreal City (illegitimate township), and they played an amazing set. It was the first time I'd ever seen them and to my suprise Rob isn't just really funny, he is really good at the guitar. Too bad he is only my friend on the internet. Lastly, the secret band came out, and it was Terror. Everyone went crazy, I got punched in the face, kicked, and knocked in the stomach. I also sang really loudly, much to everyones amusement.

We only got a little lost coming home, it was okay.

Today I woke up super early (9 AM) and laid in bed for two hours and sent chain texts of naked santa. Only few approved. Soon I will head to the MaLL again and buy the teal concoction, hopefully, and other assorted gifts. Next I will come home, get all dolled up, and head to Meredith's, then the Melwood Meltdown to get saucy and smooch under the mistletoe. Just kidding. But it will be an excellent time.

Anyway... lets hope things only get better.

Love,
Marie.

'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you
never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'

waste of time

i dont like christmas, i dont like the noise my mother makes when she sneezes, i dont like when my extended family grills me about college, i dont like the condescending look i get from my aunt when i say i havent been painting that much, i dont like the feeling i get when she brags about her 6th grader taking the SAT's and being enrolled in a program with duke, i dont like how runny my nose is, i dont like when my phone breaks, i dont like baseball, i dont like when one of my best friends in the entire fucking world thinks its okay not to call me when he's home, i dont like when i dream about heroin, i dont like worrying, i dont like anticipating college rejection letters, i dont like getting turned down for a job for the dumbest fucking reason, i dont like not being able to listen to my music, i dont like not eating healthy, i dont like crying when i see myself in the mirror, i dont like having anything to wear, i dont like fairweather friends, i dont like not having money, i dont like spending money, i dont like not having anything to look forward to when i wake up, i dont like having to please people, i dont like scratchy things i download off of the computer, i dont like people that are only there when they need me, i dont like watching people run themselves into the ground, i dont like discretionary calories

i do like reality television and dreaming, also teas and brand new's "untitled" demos

one word for how i feel: displeased

its my own goddamn fault, i'm too lazy to change my life, so i'll just suffer

Untitled 05

My life is one big headache. We are approaching winter months and something is telling me I am going to end up going completely, totally, absolutely insane. This is me, warning anyone and everyone, to watch out.

Every Man Has a Molly

THIS IS WHAT I'M ASKING FOR FOR CHRISTMAS, LEGITIMATELY

>Real, actual, purchased [new or used] copy of Say Anything's "...Is a Real Boy".
>DVD's of good movies [new or used]
>Warm socks [woolen, knitted, woven, tall, short- no real preference aside from warm]
>American Eagle underwear
>Mix CD's [must have good titles, illustrations]
>Striped shirts [bright!]
>Black sweaters/hoodies
>Macbook [white]
>Mao Zedong-style suit
>"Satsume" essential oil from The Body Shop
>Black acrylic paint
>Turpenoid
>Ostentatious Jewelry [Gold, Silver, Diamonds]
>Nose piercing
>Absinthe [it is illegal]
>Brightly colored graphic hoodie [possibly "bodybag" style]
>Books of all sorts [new or used]
>Clove cigarettes
>Donated animals for Heifer International [ask me more]
>Nail Polishes
>Bronzer [not sparkly, fuck sparkles]
>Foods [I am a cow]
>Songs/Poems written for/about me [displayed in a public forum]
>Tall Boots
>Blossoming tea [you know, little crusted up tea buds that when you add water, they become beautiful]

TO BE CONTINUED.
I like everything, which is good for my friends because anything they get me I will adore, but I have no clue what to get them so it would be NICE of them to tell me, in list form, what they like/want for christmas. Like Jen wants to fuck a man teacher, but I think I might just get her Soong Mei-ling instead, much more economical.

The Drugs Can Have My Mind, Love

So, um, can I just say that the Brand New show was perfect? I danced like an idiot. We got there during the end of mewithoutYou's set, and realized that our seating situation was absolutely glorious, not awful like we had anticipated. We were comfortably seated with ample viewing and dancing space. Thrice played next, they pretty much caused me two seizures. I mostly texted Eric Paul the entire time about important things. After their set of memorable, moshable, emotional, intense set, I went to the merch table with my older brother to buy a precious tote. Then we went back to our seats and waited.

When the band finally took the stage, they opened with Welcome To Bangkok, the worlds most killer song, and then continued to play almost (if not) everything from the new cd, a good portion of the old CD, and... one song off the old for the encore. They didn't play the Quiet Things, that was sad. But everyone went insane for Seventy Times Seven, that was good. Good show, period. Favorite band.

Then we went back to sewickley, I ate pizza and drank my forties and stayed up by myself getting trashed and lighting cigarettes off of the burner. Fucking sucked, house was gross and cold and no one was home. But who cares, one short night out of my life, I will probably relive it in like a month. Its straight.

Enough. Bed.

Degausser

TOMORROW!!! AT THIS TIME TOMORROW I WILL BE RELAXING IN SEWICKLEY AFTER HAVING SEEN MY FAVORITE BAND PERFORM. I will be outrageously content.

Well, that is if Jesse Lacey doesn't pull a bamboozle. Yeah, he could show up completely hammered drunk and incoherent and play Degausser twice, but he could also show and and play a perfect set. Regardless, it was $40 well spent in my opinion.

Today was good, nothing special, came home from school and passed out for three hours and ended up going to Denny's (3rd time this week alone) to nibble on Jenny's meatloaf and bum lighters. Then we headed to the mall and holla'ed @ our friends, and then we picked up MegBren and rolled up to Showcase for the 9:10 showing of American Gangster. The movie, which ran about 5 hours long, was actually incredible. The entire first hour was confusing but by the end, everything made a little more sense. Visually, it was stunning. A little intense, but (at least in my opinion) it wasn't gratuitous. But what do I know.

Now I'm going to bed to dream of robot babies, blood gushing from the hole in my arm, and basketball jerseys that cost $2.59. Because thats what I dream of.

Have At Thee!

Life's been weird but fun, things have been changing and I'm thinking for the better.

Yesterday afterschool Renee, Dee and I went to Denny's to chit chat and smoke some cigs, we had an excellent time doing the damn thing. We mostly reminisced about the good old days with the dirty drugs and bible writers, a time Dee Dee unfortunately missed but we filled her in. Nothing like getting into a bathroom stall with a friend and inhaling prescription pain meds.

Afterwards, we sat at Dee's and drank Mangosteen and herbal teas and listened to magical music. Renee could only stay for a bit, but she stayed long enough to fortunately show me Celeste's myspace. Perfect. After she left, Dee and I analyzed the deeper meaning of boy's blogs, took santa pictures, and decided to bring back... THE ALMIGHTY SCENE PATCH.

We mixed the entire contents of the White Out kit and applied the bleach liberally in two completely random spots. For two hours shit baked in the foil, and, TADA, scene patch worthy of the ninth grade. Perfection has been achieved. I'm proud of our accomplishments. While the hair fried, however, we ate Boston Market snacks and watched another stunning episode of Gossip Girl.

Today was fun too, starting with a ride to school and a brilliant first period class by my favorite male social studies teacher, Mr. Maddix. For forty minutes he drew diagrams of Rugby, Cricket, and Aussie Rules Football on the board. He also did demonstrations including hurling himself across the room and "pitching". He's awesome. The rest of the day was good, nothing special, but good nonetheless. I recieved my pass for the blood drive first period, and decided to utilize it the second my test in psych was over. I hung out in the art room and talked about pervy teachers and snowflakes until three, when the real drama began.

From three to four I did paperwork and preliminary tests, drank juices, talked vegan with Foster and Dee, and waited for my turn to lie down on the blue donation bed. At around 4:15 I was finally accepted, and thats when the true madness began. Rusmir, unable to donate his bosnian blood, John, and Andy all crowded around to hold my hand, pet my hair and to whisper words of encouragement into my ears as Christine, the admin with the green eye shadow and the one front tooth put a needle into my arm. They drew penises to rub on me too. We laughed and watched the blood flow from my arm for awhile before things started getting painful and highly uncomfortable, and I started drifting in and out of conciousness. Apparently, my blood was moving really slow, and I had only collected the minimum amount at the maximum time of 20 minutes. Before she pulled the plug, however, my arm went completely numb and I felt super nauseated. By the time the needle actually came out, I started losing my hearing and everything started going grey. For like fifteen seconds I was out of it, and then I came to, and had to move my feet like windshield wipers and be given orange juice by my boys. They were so funny about it, carrying my backpack and getting me snacks and retrieving my jacket. Nice boys.

When I got home, my face was white, my right arm was normal, and my left arm was purple. My parents wanted to take me to the hospital. I laughed. It was a good time. And I will donate blood again.

Do you know why?

I have type O Negative blood, which is kind of like the blood of the gods. My blood can be recieved by any other blood type, which I think is really cool. Unfortunately for me, I can only recieve O negative, which means it would suck if there was a shortage. I'm one of 7 out of a 100 people. I'm basically like royalty.

Enough, time to sleep and recover, ice skating tomorrow with Katherine hopefully, I can't wait until she sees my little bald baby patches of doom.

We're On A Sinking Ship, But We're Escaping It

This is me, reporting from the room of doom- my bedroom. Currently it is about 15 degrees farenheit in this bitch and it is also headache central.

Luckily, I have just eaten a delicious Qdoba burrito and I am becoming a little more excited by the second for the Brand New show... occuring in four days.

I also have a headache that is making me believe my head really does have the potential to explode. It might actually be for the better however, because my brain has slowly been deteriorating due to mild substance abuse, excessive worrying, and general apathy. I peaked, mentally, in about the fifth grade. I need to apply to colleges. I'm worthless for not doing this. I have been getting my application for Pitt together since July. What that the FUCK is the hold up here. Oh yeah, thats right, I'm an idiot who can't get her shit together.

And apparently, I am a fucking stalker. I am not a stalker! I am the one that gets stalked! I freaked out, role reversal- sick puppy dog eyes following sports players around! Who am I anymore?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Dee Dee gave me an intense complex about my habits. I knew there was an issue... she just validated it and it was like, I don't know, being sent outside in the snow without a jacket on during 10th period.

Oh wait, that actually happened today.

Fuck my life. ONE BIG JOKE.

So, uh, on to the Lena Berry Report. This is a daily segment now.

Today in the world of Lena, she went crazy again in Mr. Clemmer's photograpy room. Like, she picked up an apple out of my lunch, held it for awhile, looked at it, and took a bite out of it. And then another. And another. Half an apple later, she offers it to me like, you want some of this? And no, I did not want some of that, thank you for eating my apple. Lena Berry is a girl of many men, she attracts them wherever she goes... and she wears tights that resemble a second skin. Next time she wears a skirt, please chastise her, tell her she looks like a slut, that denim is not buisness casual... just basically undermine her to the point where she is looking for the nearest pair of pants. Or take paparazzi photos of her in the parking lot.

After school today was good, Jenny came and got me and we picked up John Zarra III for a mall shopping extravaganza. I bought nothing but I did apply for employment at Delias. I am 75% sure I will be hired. We met up with Chris F. and it was nice. Jenny ate Oh! Oh! Burrito and made Lovesac the most tense store in the entire mall. We also looked at weiner soap at spencers and ate free pretzel samples at Le Gourmet Chef. Then we went to Borders and read High Times and Hairy Potter and the Cannabis Stone or whatever the fuck it was called in the Childrens Section.

Then I ate Qboda and my brain exploded.

End of story.

Oh... and I got the Say Anything CD... BEST 10 DOLLARS EVER SPENT AT TARGET. Well, maybe not, but it fucking rules.

Ouch, Charlie. OUUUCHH, Charrr leee, you bit me. And it really hurt. Its still hurrr tinggg.

"If only you could see me, we'd dance like a heart attack.
With a wail you
let them know you're furious, you're back. You awake from
the dirt and the
grime, stretch your fractured, pretzel spine, out to take
your revenge for the
crime, filled with fire and finally mine. You awake
from the grave that he
dug, pulsing, boiling, angry blood. Well aware that
I'm falling in love. Filled
with fire, I'm drinking gasoline to make it go
faster, Gasoline will make it grow
much faster. Gasoline to make it go
faster. Gasoline will make it grow much
faster"

New Say Anything is perfect. I can't stop listening to the four songs they have posted, I'm seriously in love. I've been seriously in love with every new snippet of music I aquire... new Kenna? New M.I.A.? All seriously good. SERIOUSLY. But this Say Anything... their music has attained a completely new level of depth, and everything I've heard so far is perfect. The lyrics are all totally key, Max Bemis, you're the new Jesus in my book. Is that sacreligious? Yeah.

Today was awesome and sucked at the same time, the one bit of truth that I have come across so far in this 24 hour block of time is: I'm an idiot, but I have really awesome best friends so its okay. Lena Berry is probably the funniest person I've ever met. Lena, you are probably reading this because you stalk me, but thats okay. Today Lena was weirder than usual and it was beyond amusing. I'm not going to go into detail about the snot incident or the awkward knuckle cracking, but lets just say she's insane and great. We went to Denny's afterschool and drank coffee and shmoked cigz like true scenesters... but then we screwed up the scene appeal by ordering mini-burgers. Yeah, thats right... MINI BURGERS, BITCH. Then I came home and made up my mind to apply to Delias with a little help from a friend. Then I'll have a real job and won't be such a bum.


Okay, thats enough. Time to clean.

Hello, My Friend, Hello My Friend, Hello, My Friend, YES ITS ME

1.Do you plan on spending time with the person you like today? That would require him giving a shit, so probably not. Maybe if the ground opens up and the earth swallows us whole. There is actually a greater probability of that occuring than us hanging out.
2.Do you like rodeos? Unfortunately there are no alot of rodeos in western pennsylvania to my knowledge.
3.What is your favorite part of the opposite sex? I don't really know how to answer this, but, I guess their size? Is that weird? Like, I like taller boys, boys that are kind of big, so they feel safe. That is important. I also like boys with nice bone structure and also who are sluts.
4. Do you add people on myspace that you don't personally know? Sometimes, if they are friends of a friend, or are really good looking
5. Is there anyone in your family that you would date if you weren't related to them? If I were a lesbian who wasn't related to my cousins i'd probably date rape them
6.Do you live with anyone that you would not want to live with? I'd prefer not to be living at home but I mean, they are family
7. Do you find it weird when someone of a very high age talks to someone of a lower age? Well I have a few friends of a "high" age, and being of a "low" age I guess I don't think its that weird, I'd say cut off is about 25
8.Do you find cowboys attractive? Perhaps if I knew one I might think he was good looking
9.Do you live on a farm? No. But one day I will.
10. Do you reconnect with people after they take advantage of you? There isn't alot to take advantage of when it comes to me. You can't really use me because I have nothing.
11.What is your favorite band at the moment? Been listening to alot of Kenna, alot of M.I.A., alot of Metro Station... high energy stuff I guess
12. Do you get along with your grand parents? I love both sets to death. My Mom's side, Gene and Sue, are funny and love to cook and eat and watch television. My Fathers side, well Mary Alice loves to leave long telephone messages and pray to god about being blind and a recovering alcoholic and Patty and Donald love to take cruises and drink wine.

How Do You Feel About:
Cafeteria Food: Well, it looks nice but then you throw it up a period later. Well at least thats what happens to me. Even chicken salad day is torturous. Chicken salad day is like a double edged sword, because its fried chicken on top of a salad with french fries on top of it. I mean, how much more delicious can you get? But then you eat it and you die.
Hot Dogs: Shaped like a penis, filled with mechanically separated meats, cost $1.05 at the Hot Dog Shoppe.
Tattoos: Can suck, can rule. Some people have really bad tattoos but can still be good people, but that doesn't mean I don't judge people because of it. Personally, want them, badly.
Piercings: Nose, Bridge (sometimes), Septum (sometimes), Lip, Monroe (sometimes), Medusa (never), Clavicle (never), Eyebrow (never), Chin (never)
Cats: Small cats, Thin cats, Solitary cats, Hairless cats- okay. Needy, fat, shedding cats- not okay.
Britney Spears: Everyone says she's crazy, but in reality, she's a genius- she's built an empire! I've always loved here, since the Jive CD sampler I got in my Backstreet Boys VHS with "new recording artist Britney Spears" on it. Well, there was one time I hated her, when Adriana "Avy" Rosen made that shirt that said "Spear Britney" on it and she was really popular for it, and when I liked Avril Lavigne in the 7th grade.
Chocolate: I have always preferred it to vanilla. Thats just the way things are. I don't like white chocolate, or milk chocolate unless it has nuts in it.
Reality TV: Fuck off pretentious elitist who say they don't watch it, because they do, and they love it. Its a funhouse mirror perspective on culture today. I mean, c'mon- we all know people don't really do that shit in real life. Its great watching people put in a box and cut off from the outside world, its a sick commentary on human nature. I'm totally pro. I don't know what I'd do without my daily fix of I Love New York 2. Plus, its better to be a cool indie elitist who is like, "fuck yeah, pop culture! Haha i'm so cool and above it, I love watching it because its so kitschy and funny and hip!" You know, like me.
The Internet: I'm on it, aren't I?

Home On A Saturday Night.

Seriously? Seriously. This day just keeps sucking, and its no ones fault, but it just sucks to get dressed and ready and be waiting and then things happen and you are stuck at home by yourself with fifteen T.V.'s blaring stupid fucking cartoons because the only other people home are your little brothers.

So, want to know what I did today? Woke up at 645 to take the SATs. Stood in the freezing cold waiting to take them. Finally got in, got a terrible prompt with some Gloria Steinem quote for the writing assignment. Didn't get out of the test room until one. Went home, ate, showered, read, knitted. Babysat neighbors from 6-9. Got dressed, waited until ten.

Its ten 1046, I'm all dressed up and no place to go. I understand what happened, and thats unfortunate, but in the end this was just the icing on the cake for me. I'm not mad, i'm just frustrated because I cannot be in this house any longer.

Weekend of Suck, officially.

Six days until Brand New, thank god.

Currently the only thing keeping me alive is one small glimmer of hope and M.I.A. Thats all.

I've also been grinding my teeth a ton and now I feel like they are falling out. There are alot of things I'm really sick of, but i'd get ultimate shit for posting it. Why? Because they would hurt everyones feelings in one way or another. I need to sublimate or displace or whatever the psychological term is before I seriously go off. Aiosfiusdnfsioudnesrwuiuxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay, thats enough.